It’s almost here. In a few days I will be halfway dead. The average US life expectancy is 78.74 years, and this broad is rollin’ up on 40.

I recently graduated college, which is compounding my crisis, as many find a lingering emptiness following the end of school. College was my single-minded life focus for many years, and until I find a new career, there is nothing to fill that gap in mission. I am adrift.

My job hunt has not gone as well as I anticipated. I’m not sure what is wrong with the people that do the hiring, as I am an awesome employee and anyone should be happy to have me. I work hard, I am flexible, reliable, and there is little that I can’t do well. It’s not that I am smarter than most people, but I have an unrelenting tenacity to excel at anything I decide to do. I am a machine (a strange term of endearment that a former boss introduced me to). I always give my all, and I do it without being an asshole. But I digress. Back to my midlife crisis.

I’ve lived in Central Florida most of my life. I moved here when I was nine years old, and other than a brief stint in Savannah, this is where I stayed. The thing that is so strange about this area is how transient it is. I suppose places like New York are similar, but it seems more expected in a massive metropolis. Anyhow, many of my closest friends, and even my acquaintances, have moved away. They are spread to the winds, from coast to coast, and in some cases beyond. Of those that remain, many are tied up with their own busy lives (jobs, spouses, kids, you name it). I, on the other hand, don’t even have a boyfriend. (I am finding the middle aged dating scene to be, errr…disappointing.) To top it off, quite a few of my remaining Florida friends also talk of leaving the state.

Between the dismal state of my social life and the lack of job opportunities in the area, I have been considering a move for some time. It is an idea that has been rolling around in my head quite actively for over a year now. While I do like my house very much (and the mortgage payment), there are so many things that I don’t like about where I live. I made a list:

• I have to drive EVERYWHERE (and it usually means being stuck in traffic for at least 15 minutes, often 45+).
• There are very few open positions in the career fields I want to work in.
• Too many low wage jobs and high unemployment in the area, which brings everything down.
• Most of the people I have bonds with are already gone, and I rarely see the rest.
• Much of the entertainment in the area is geared toward tourists, and is therefore expensive.
• The cost of living is great – except when you factor in the terrible wages.
• Every time I travel to other parts of the country (or even other parts of this state), people are nicer. Orlando folks have too much attitude, and I am tired of it.
• The high dew point and high humidity make for SO MANY BAD HAIR DAYS.
• The water is really hard, which sucks for my hair and skin. I am a delicate flower.
• Transit options are terrible – so no affordable and safe way to meet up for beers with pals.
• Finally, I am just bored with it. It’s old and stagnant for me.

So here is my midlife crisis plan: sell my beautiful and totally affordable home in Florida, and launch myself somewhere, completely alone and saddled with student loan debt. While it sounds horrifying, in many ways I am eager for an adventure. Plus, I have some equity in my home that should help serve as a cushion while I get my footing once again and find a nice gig somewhere. Maybe I will make some new friends, and possibly find a boyfriend. Who knows?

I look forward to getting out and exploring a new place. I have been stagnant for far too long, and it has affected my physical and mental health in damaging ways.

My Wishlist for a New Land:

• Good jobs (duh)
• Near mountains or river (or both!).
• Nature trails and parklands.
• A craft brewery or two is nice (but not required).
• Little to no snow (especially if less walkable).
• Historic preservation in the community.
• Cost of living not too out of control (I’m looking at you DC).
• Relatively safe and clean(ish).
• Good restaurants (not just chains, for the love of all things tasty).
• A Trader Joe’s would be nice (also not required).
• A Fiat dealership, since I have a lifetime warranty on my car and that puppy is paid off.
• A little funkiness is appreciated. An arts scene, good nightlife venues (not “clubs” but low-key hangouts), museums, festivals. You know, some blood running through the old veins.

I’ve looked into many areas and several have piqued my interest. At this point, I am leaving my landing zone to the job hunting fates, but I have a few favored spots in mind (Wilmington, NC is at the top). Most of these spots are in close driving range to Myrtle Beach, where my mother is planning to move. She is, essentially, my only family, so I would like to remain somewhat geographically close.

May the job hunting odds be ever in my favor.